News item: "Martial artist-turned-actor Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson has escaped unscathed following a car crash in California."
You don't say.
The one thing I remember above all else about the 1980s TV series "The A-Team" was that no one - and I mean NO ONE - ever got hurt, at least not in any of the episodes I watched. The villains were the worst shots in the world, emptying clip after clip from their automatic assault rifles without inflicting so much as a scratch on A-Team members John "Hannibal" Smith, Templeton "Face" Peck, "Howling Mad" Murdoch and B.A. Baracus. (How's that for irony? The guy who calls himself Mr. T in real life didn't get a nickname in the show.) The bad guys were equally impervious. I remember one episode where a helicopter that was chasing the A-Team van crashed into the side of a mountain and exploded, and the guys who were inside the chopper ran out of the fireball, brushing off their clothes like they were just coming in from a dust storm.
So it was in keeping with tradition that there were no injuries when Jackson, who stars in the upcoming big screen remake of the A-Team, collided with another car driven by an elderly lady in Orange County, California. There's no immediate word on who or what caused the accident, although Jackson was already on probation for reckless driving follow a police chase in July 2008, when the former UFC champion was arrested for refusing to pull over as he was reportedly weaving in and out of traffic on a flat tire while talking on his cellphone. According to police, Jackson sideswiped at least two other vehicles, ran several red lights and sent pedestrians fleeing in terror before he finally stopped and was arrested at gunpoint. And - you guessed it - there were no injuries. In fact, it was tantamount to a perfect audition for Jackson's A-Team role, if the movie is going to be as ludicrously unrealistic as the TV series.
I love it when a plan comes together.