Thursday, February 18, 2010

GORDON LIGHTFOOT (*yawn*) NOT DEAD

Gordon Lightfoot?
That's it? That's the best Canadian death hoax we could come up with? And at a time when the whole world is watching us?
With all due respect Lightfoot, who's one of a slew of famous Canadian Gordies alongside Howe, Downie and Sinclair among others, the guy hasn't had a hit record since the 1970s. Ask most people beyond our borders who or what Gordon Lightfoot is, and the most likely responses are a native actor or a brand of Canadian rye whiskey.
At the risk of being appallingly insensitive, the obvious candidate for a Canadian death hoax is actor Michael J. Fox. He's got an international profile and it's well-known that he's suffering from Parkinson's Disease. I'm not making light of Fox's condition - I'm just coming at it from the perspective of a would-be hoaxer. Celine Dion is another Canadian with a global presence whose rumoured passing would mobilize media from Manhattan to Melbourne, as opposed to Gordon Lightfoot, whose reported demise created shockwaves from Markham to Maniwaki.
Another classically Canadian element in the Gordon Lightfoot death hoax is that it was perpetrated on Ronnie Hawkins, who's even more obscure than Lightfoot, and says he received a call from someone claiming to be Lightfoot's grandson, telling him Lightfoot had died. Who plans something like that, and how does the conversation go?
"OK, here's what we do. We call Ronnie Hawkins and tell him Gordon Lightfoot is dead. If anybody's gonna get the word out, it's the Hawk, 'specially if he's been drinkin'."
I'm no propagandist or fomenter of social unrest, but if I'm trying to generate false but interesting publicity, that's not even Plan C.

11 comments:

  1. LOL..this is so delightfully in bad taste..love it. Paul Anka would have been a more likely candidate too..sales of "My Way" would have soared.

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  2. Ted..

    now your talking my language..
    yep lightfoots been washed up for years..
    and if it wasnt ronnie hawkins drinking..
    it coulda been Willie nelso to spread the word..

    i think a Getty Lee hoax whould have been
    better,,Rush is very popular in europe..

    Ted,,ill dust off my gordon lightfoot greatest
    hits lp and listen to it ..more enjoyable..
    than the hoax,,,

    and ted please dont mention gord downie..or chom will play a year of tragically shit cds...


    rock on ,,,

    Brian.

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  3. "If you could read my mind"

    Think the next line would go something like,

    "laying in this dentist chair,
    wondering how to resurect my flailing career?
    Get Ronni to tweet that I am dead now
    They'll play my golden oldies from yester year
    The royalty cheques will come rolling in
    No longer need to fear
    Those golden years"

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  4. ..those golden years while downing
    a few more beers..WC...

    loved the "ywan`from Ted..

    really whars happening with music today..
    i love all kinds and it just seems to be a re hash..nothings going on..

    man on chom..they decide to play a tragically
    shit song that they havent played before..

    what happend when we used to hear about iron maiden and jusdas priest.. when they were house hold words..now its gaga goo goo..

    brother ill stick with lightfoot..before
    i listen to that crap..

    and john mayer coming to montreal who cares..
    another ill fated show at the bell center..
    just like the cars/blondie,barry manilow..
    and georgie porgie micheal..

    wheres priest,maiden,sabbath..or the young guys
    green day, etc..

    long live rock..
    be it dead or alive...because..the citys dead..

    no more days of zep,queen,aerosmith and kiss
    every summer.. now were only getting crap..

    rock on..

    Brian...

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  5. Gordon may not be dead, but your career is....

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  6. Dear Anonymous,

    Thanks for taking time out from your busy masturbating schedule to add your comment.

    All the best,
    Ted

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  7. Hello T.B.
    You must excuse the Hawk these days. His recent commercial on CHEX T.V. in Peterborough is not doing too well. The creative dept. at CHEX must have taken all of 5 seconds to come up with what Ronnie had to say. The winter time is bad for Ronnie as he waunders aimlessly around the village of Lakefield in his old grey track pants. He is a little better in the summertime as his greatest passion (grass) he is either cutting it or smoking it.

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  8. As always Ted Bird you gave me a laugh not only with your blog but with your comment to anonymous, still giggling over that one....
    Darlene

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  9. LOL Ted I almost peed myyself with that response to that moron...gives a whole new meaning to the term "Sticky Keys"
    Jim

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  10. ted..

    your response was a carrear high!!

    ok.. what about the highway signs
    of CHOM with the caption "the revolution of rock"..???

    with what ?? playing tragically shit cds???

    or overplaying bryan adams reckless album..
    there in the same old rut and always will be..

    Even gordon light foot listens to 99.9 the buzz


    brian

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  11. Ted,

    Good one! Maybe anonymous was in the act while listening to "Sticky Fingers"!

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