Sunday, February 21, 2010


When the Winter Olympics are over, let's have a big bonfire, and use the bureaucrats who came up with the "Own the Podium" program as kindling. Or if we can't get a campfire permit, we could always just boil them in oil.
Thanks to an overly ambitious program conceived by a bunch of desk-jockeys with access to the public trough, Canada's performance to date in Vancouver is being widely perceived as disappointing and deficient, which is hugely unfair on a number of levels, not least of which is that Canada's much-publicized "shortcomings" have detracted from what we've accomplished. I've read and heard at least as much about the medals we supposedly should have won but didn't as I have about the Canadian athletes who've actually ascended the podium, of whom there have been nine to date, which is good for fourth place in the standings. That would be more than respectable under ordinary circumstances, but in the existing climate of extraordinary and cringeworthy Canadian presumption, it's a national crisis.
Own the Podium was a recipe for failure that's unfairly burdening athletes with blame that should be directed at the pencil-pushers who saddled them with unrealistic expectations.

-Team Canada goaltender Martin Brodeur played his way out of the starting job in the 5-3 loss to the US last night. Period.

-The most impressive thing about Alex Ovechkin's teeth-rattling bodycheck on Jaromir Jagr in the Russia-Czech Republic game was that Jagr got right back up after the hit.

-Somebody tell Casey Jones at Canada Hockey Place that we only blow the train horn when the home team scores.

-Speaking of Canada Hockey Place, could they possibly have come up with a more mundane and non-descript arena name, or was "Domestic Ice Hockey Facility" already taken?

-As much as it would go against their client's instincts, when Tiger Woods' handlers put together the invitation-only media list for last week's mea culpa news conference, they presumably stacked the deck with old, fat newspaper guys and told the smoking-hot TV babes to stay at the office and plug into the pool feed.


  1. At least you you agree with my post on your Facebook page, sort of. That Babcock was wrong in putting Brodeaur in nets. For the past 2 games, he's seemed quite the ordinary as opposed to his games at the NHL level. Spot on about the own the podium schtick. Did you also notice that evertime a Canadian has a good result, right away they mention a gold medal but in the end...well you know that part.

  2. well..

    everybody said brodeur was ordinary..
    they waited to long to decide..
    so..there goes the medal..


  3. I have heard that the Own the Podioum program has been a success.

    I cannot find a link to back that up, but I heard that Canadian athletes have been very successful in Word Cup events in the last few years leading up to the Olympics, in some events sweeping the podium. You cannot ignore that success just because we are not seening them in Vancouver.

    I for one will wait until after the Olympics are over before judging the program, there are still many more medals to come.

  4. Let's see... was Canada not suppose to be favored in men's short track speed skating, so far no medals.
    Women, a silver in the 1500m.
    Long track, men have not come close to stepping on the podium, Denny Morrison criticizing the Canadian program when he failed and finished a disappointing 9th.

    And unless men's hockey "team" steps it up a notch and finds a way to play inspired hockey (Thorton and Marleau are you listening?!) there may be a big dissapointment here too.
    And Pronger, for a big man, for crying out loud hit someone who is in your netminder's crease! You have the size, use it! You seem to have no trouble getting into "trouble" while wearing the Flyers uniform.
    And please Brodeur, stick to playing the way you normally play and stop trying to handle the puck and flopping around!

    On the same topic, Ryan Miller was incredible as he usually seems to be in big games.

    Ok, so now that I have ranted a little, I feel a little better. A week left, with chances to win medals and get on the podium in curling, (men and women), hockey (again men and women), pair's ice dancing. That could make possibly another 6... did I miss any?

  5. Ted,

    Just read in the Gazoo that you are joining CTV as of March 1st.

    Congratulations. Looking forward to watching.

    Does this mean you will now have to wear a suit and tie?!

    Again, congratulations.

  6. Congrats on the CTV gig! Will also be tuning in..

    Guess you have to color co-ordinate your flannel shirts with Corbeil and Tieman's

    Could be happier for you!

    Good luck Monday,

    Ed and Regina

  7. just got this news flash from
    the national inquirer...

    Ted Bird, who recently left CHOM's morning show, will debut a weekly sports segment on CTV Montreal’s evening and late-night newscasts beginning March 1.

    dont forget to wear your carey price shorts..
    and don cherry canada tie...


  8. Overheard at Pat Robertson's house 5 seconds after Tiger talked about his Buddhist faith...

    Pat: "Great Horny-Toads Dede, I goddamned knew it. Them boobbists ain't nothin but sex addicts...