Thursday, November 11, 2010

NHL All Stars, lazy eyes and yummy mummies


So, the NHL has decided to embrace the All Star game for what it is - glorified pick-up shinny played on a much grander scale and under far more glamorous circumstances. The appointment of two captains who will pick teams from a list of players is the stuff of pond hockey, except in the case of the All Star game, the last player picked won't be the fat guy, somebody's sister or the kid with the lazy eye.
As a selection process, having captains pick teams is only marginally more sophisticated than putting all the sticks in a pile and then randomly separating them into two groups, but the beauty is in the simplicity. The All Star game is never going to be entertaining; kudos to the NHL for getting back to basics and dressing it up - or down - with universally relatable hockey tradition.
I'd even take the pond hockey concept a couple of steps further by having them play the All Star game on an actual pond, starting at around the time school gets out, meaning the second and third periods would be played in the dark, unless somebody's Dad showed up and parked his car behind one of the nets with the engine running and the high beams on. And to complete the family circle, one of the players' moms could serve hot chocolate between periods - preferably the hottest mom, to give the rest of the guys a tingling sensation besides the one in their frozen feet. Hey, you can argue that there's no place in the game for cheerleaders, but yummy hockey mummies are a tradition as old as the game itself.

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