Monday, May 16, 2011
Bob Cole strikes again
I didn't watch Game 1 of the NHL Eastern Conference final between Tampa Bay and Boston in its entirety so I wasn't party to all of Bob Cole's inevitable stupidities, but I did catch this gem from Hockey Night in Canada's resident gasbag with the Lightning up 3-1 late in the first: "Before a minute-47 is out in this first period, we could be looking at a brand new hockey game." Earth to Bob: what kind of ridiculous observation is that? It's not a bold prediction as much as it is a doddering old man desperately trying to come up with something that he thinks is going to create a sense of drama. Cole is bad enough at play-by-play without subjecting viewers to his equally preposterous color commentary. Say what you will about Don Cherry, but at least Cherry still has his wits about him. Bob Cole makes Mike Tyson sound like Sir Laurence Olivier. For the love of God, somebody give this guy his gold watch and a one way ticket home to Newfoundland...Please tell me we're not going to be subjected to a steady diet of caterwauling about how the Canadiens let Chris Higgins and Maxime Lapierre "get away." Just because Higgins and Lapierre are enjoying a deep playoff run with Vancouver doesn't change the fact that they were dead weight when they were unloaded by the Habs...The lycra-clad Green Men who taunt visiting players from the other side of the penalty box glass in Vancouver are the best NHL arena sideshow since the off-duty strippers who flashed their assets from the private loges at the Bell Center. Someone actually using their imagination to entertain the crowd between whistles is a refreshing change from a matted, googly-eyed team mascot whose creative repertoire is limited to the handshake, the head tilt and the blank stare...Bret Favre says he has no intention of coming out of retirement. He didn't specify which retirement.