Thursday, October 20, 2011

Things my friend Mark says - Volume 3: No mo' Momo

My friend Mark is as funny and articulate as anyone in the blogosphere, but too lazy/humble/indifferent to start his own blog, so he just writes gold and sends it to me. His observations need to be shared, for amusement's sake if not for the betterment of mankind.


With the death, today, of Colonel Moammar Gadhafi, a mighty torch has been passed.

For over 40 years, Gadhafi held the title of "Ugliest Meaty-Faced Man in the World". It is a coveted honour. After all, anyone can be ugly, but when it came to being truly meaty-faced the Colonel was unchallenged. One cannot view a photo of him without immediately thinking, "This is how Dick Cheney should have looked."

Gadhafi was confident, even arrogant, about his fleshy bad looks. He knew that a really snappy uniform or the finest silk casual wear couldn't detract one iota from his permanently gasp-inducing visage. Forget about his eyes or bone structure. Just the skin itself was at least 12 pounds of badly arranged suet. One imagines that a very young Moammar was taunted on the schoolyards of Tripoli, perhaps laying a groundwork for the sheer viciousness of his future dictatorship.

Still, it cannot be denied that Colonel Gadhafi was a sensitive and tasteful man, with a real flair for the fashion statement. (His long-indulged preference for pillbox hats was known among his dearest friends to be just a touching, boyish homage to Jackie Kennedy.)

But life goes on, and there is now a different, but equally undeniable holder of the title. He needs no introduction. The "Ugliest Meaty-Faced Man in the World" is...

Danke schoen!


P.S. Reports state that Gadhafi was shot in the back of the head. (The bullets refused to go in the front way.)


  1. Forgive the Canadians, for they do not understand what they do. They do enjoy a good belch, Eskimo-racism, and Lybia bashing. Canadians do not possess the intellect required to own and operate a sense of humor; however, they are easily conditioned. And, the entire unnecessarily bi-lingual nation has been conditioned to open their mouths and make noise when they hear belching, Eskimo-racism and/or Lybia bashing.

  2. Actually, the article was written by an American.