Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Home is where the hut is

As a rule, I don't much care what individual hockey players have to say about the NHL lockout, because they're even less articulate about labor relations than they are about hockey, where they at least have the benefit of experience and a time-honored collection of shopworn cliches to fall back on. It only gets interesting when a Krys Barch goes on a liquor-fuelled Twitter tirade or a Sergei Kostitsyn weighs in with something so absurd that it demands commentary.
In a report from a Russian sports publication reprinted in the Globe and Mail, Kostitsyn says he hopes the NHL season is cancelled so he can continue to play for Avangard Omsk of the Kontinental Hockey League. Our man Sergei says he's had trouble adjusting to the North American lifestyle. What is it about North America that's an uncomfortable fit for you, Sergei? Is it that pesky First World prosperity, the limitless social opportunities for someone in your position of wealth and privilege, or the dearth of cousin Vasily's homemade potato vodka? Ever the discerning traveller, Kostitsyn is no fan of Columbus, Ohio, which he calls the "gloomiest" city in the NHL - as opposed to Omsk, with its backyard view of the endless Siberian steppe.
For the comforts of home - such as they are on the border with Kazakhstan - Kostitsyn is willing to give up a three million dollar NHL salary and a first class lifestyle in some of the world's most beautiful and modern cities. You might want to be careful what you wish for, Sergei, lest you get traded to Magnitogorsk, which makes Columbus look like Cape Town and Omsk look like Oahu.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Sergei. Hard to adapt to North American lifestyle huh? When was it difficult for you? When you would get mobbed for autographs coming out of the Bell Center in you Porsche 911 Carrera S, was it when the groupies swarmed you in bars, was it when you went to restaurants and the owner would extend you the courtesy of a free drink? Was it when kids would buy and wear your jersey and would chant your name in hopes you would become a big star? I honestly think that you are a piece of human feces. As I would live in Columbus 100 times before stepping foot in Omsk.