THE DAILY SPEW
DEATH, GORDIE HOWE IN DUST-UP
by Spew staff
Death and Gordie Howe are both recovering after an encounter at Howe's daughter's home in Texas.
Howe, 86, was reported to be in serious but stable condition. The Grim Reaper's physical injuries were less serious, but doctors say he suffered severe psychological trauma after getting much more than he bargained for in the weekend fracas with Mr. Hockey.
"I don't understand. His number was up," said the Reaper from a hospital where he was held overnight for observation after suffering a broken nose and severely bruised ribs.
"He was puttering in the yard and I was going to take him out with a stroke - easy peasy stuff. Next thing I know I'm flat on my back from eating an elbow and he's working me over with the butt end of my own scythe."
Death said it was the first time in memory that someone had refused to yield to the inevitable.
"And I've come for them all," he added, "Even John Ferguson and Bob Probert knew the jig was up and didn't make a fuss."
Asked if he would be back soon for Howe, the Angel of Doom reflexively curled into the fetal position.
"Fuck that noise. He's on his own."