Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Maybe he meant Oakland Seals

   Get your affairs in order.  The end of the world is nigh.
   Don Cherry was assailed on social media this past weekend for bashing the seal hunt - not for defending the seal hunt, but for callings its practitioners and supporters "savages" and "barbarians".
   Apparently, I'm the only person on either side of the tree line who assumed Cherry was being sarcastic when he chided Hockey Night in Canada colleague Ron MacLean for ordering a seal burger while MacLean was on assignment for Rogers Hometown Hockey in St. John's, Newfoundland.  After all, the Coach's Corner star is the very antithesis of the traditional kale-eating, hemp-wearing, moss-burning seal hunt protestor, whose ideological standards fall neatly in line with Cherry's longstanding "left wing commie pinko" bogeyman. Seal hunters, on the other hand, are Cherry's kind of people - honest, hard-working Canadians trying to make a living off the land and through the natural food chain.  So when he went after MacLean, I thought it was obvious that he was feigning disgust and taking a subtle shot at opponents of the seal hunt.  
   Sadly for Cherry, there's no room for nuance in today's hair trigger society. Within minutes, he was trending on Twitter as public enemy number one for the seal hunt industry, which itself has historically been targeted for outrage and condemnation.  Cherry's half-baked Twitter apology only served to muddle his position, and leave a bemused nation wondering whether its most famous blowhard has lost his edge.  
   The only logical explanation I can think of is that Cherry thought MacLean had resorted to cannibalism and was eating former members of the defunct Oakland Seals. 
   Mmm...Ted Hampson.


  1. Charlie Hodgeburger.
    Actually the folks at PETA thought that naming Seals after a hockey team was offensive and petitioned to have it changed to the Oakland Sea Kale, or Oakland Swiss Chard.