Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Me 1 Cancer 0

Entry 7 in the colorectal cancer blog journal "I've Got a Mass in My Ass"

   "So, Dr. Evil, we meet again" is probably the wrong thing to say to a guy who's about to go wrist deep into your rectal cavity to lube you up for a scoping procedure, and maybe that's why my colorectal surgeon lingered in the area in question longer than seemed necessary to me, but the indignity and discomfort were worth the end result (Get it? End result?)   
   Seven months and change after being diagnosed with a rectal tumour, I appear to be cancer-free.  The tumour is gone, and while the Rear Admiral did a biopsy for confirmation purposes, he seemed confident that the worst is behind me. (Get it?  Behind me?)  There will still be a round of preventive chemotherapy to lessen the chances of the cancer recurring, but what's a little fatigue, hair loss, constipation/diarrhea, mouth sores, sensitivity to cold and numbness in the extremities if it means increasing your odds of holding the Big C at bay?
    Not to tempt fate, but I'm half-expecting the other shoe to drop.  To be handed a provisional clean bill of health well under a year after being diagnosed, with no side effects from radiation or the first round of chemo and no ill effects in general seems too good to be true.  I'm enormously grateful because I've seen first hand how lucky I am compared to other people who are fighting a life and death battle against cancer.  Relatively speaking, I'm winning a skirmish, and I'm not taking credit for any of it.  My recovery is all about the grace of God, support from family and friends and the dedication of health care professionals who provide yeoman's service despite being routinely sabotaged by politicians and bureaucrats.  All I had to do was show up.  
   So it's all good.  God willing, any anal probing from this point on will be strictly recreational, and that ain't happening.  To each their own, but on my highway of life, that's an exit lane only.


  1. Glad to read this... been a fan of bird droppins from chom at the time... way back... The fact is I love the way you see it. And that there is an happy ending not happy end in! (get it)
    We never met, I just wanna tell you that I wish you well and long and happy life so you can make us all laugh and be alittle more conciencious with your droppings.
    Thank you for being you.

  2. im happy for you Ted.


  3. Great news, Ted! "Behind me." I like what you did there.

  4. So happy to hear this. My grandfather died from colon cancer, my Father was a survivor after being diagnosed early and I go e ery five yearsfor acolonoscopy and so far no problems.
    Earlydete tion is the key. So as much as you may not relish going it is an important procedure that may save your life.
    So good for you Ted. Also greT for your family and all your fans.

  5. Great news!!! To a long, healthy and happy life. Have a great day!!

  6. So happy for you, your family and all your fans.
    Early detection is the key. So as much as we may not relisg going for the procedure everyone should have a colonscopy after 50. My grandfather died from colon cancer and my Father survived due to early detection. I go every five years and all is good so far.
    Look forward to reading more Bird droppings!

  7. Great news. Perfect! I'm happy to hear that, it's no bummer.

  8. Awesome news Ted and so deserved, wishing you a speedy recovery and mounds of droppings in the years to come!!

  9. Awesome news Ted and so deserved, wishing you a speedy recovery and mounds of droppings in the years to come!!

  10. Great attitude Ted. Good luck.